does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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