Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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