i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
