Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
