The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Farmville is her only friend.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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