69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
