its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
