You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
