my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
