If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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