Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
A+ Viking dick
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
