My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
