fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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