Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
