I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
