I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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