I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
