i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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