Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Welp...herpes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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