oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
