school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
