there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
