if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
