I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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