Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
