you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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