I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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