it wasn't lemon gatorade
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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