It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
