Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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