My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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