He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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