WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
