O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
