every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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