He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
