I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
