Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
