Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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