ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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