The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
