Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
