Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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