I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
