ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
