RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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