onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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