WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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