He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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