oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
