Tell her she can't have a vagina
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
